A Lyric, A Poem? A Work in Progress…

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Do you ever write something, and know you’ve got some good words to chase but never quite put it all together? That’s how I feel about the following bit of writing I’m sharing. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be a song lyric or a poem – the lines become blurred sometimes between the two. It needs more work to be ‘finished’ on either account but go ahead, take a read and share your thoughts.

medium_3257435335

 

When the lonely settles in

Like a blanket of fresh snow

Clean and quiet it lays down

To insulate my broken soul

 

When there’s no peace to be found

I’ve learned enough to know

When sweet sadness seeks a friend

That’s when the lonely settles in

 

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep

If I wake with morning light

I’ve made it through another night

But like a promise without end

That’s when the lonely settles in

 

Grief takes me in his grip

Won’t let go out of fear

That I’ll let your memory fade

That I’ll no longer feel you near

Every season has an end

That’s when the lonely settles in

 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/lukeas09/3257435335/”>LukeAndrew94</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

 

16 responses »

    • Thanks Garden 🙂 Glad you liked it and thanks for your thoughts on it being a song lyric. I was leaning that way with it, but it needs to be written differently – all that verse/chorus/bridge stuff, etc. has to be worked out. Thanks for popping in!

  1. “Do you ever write something, and know you’ve got some good words to chase but never quite put it all together?”—Yes. All the time. 🙂

    I enjoyed the poem, as always!

    • I can see the video now – a viking emerges from a snowy landscape, a flutist starts things off softly; said viking enters some horrible battle with his wench crying in the background; a guitar riff enters until finally face-melting metal sends us into the depressing end! …And thanks! 🙂

  2. You reminded me of those days with heavy snow from my youth…the way the snow dampened all sound…it was indeed the feeling of loneliness that later in life I experienced…a very strong opening stanza that set the one for the whole poem…really enjoyed this one.

    • Glad you had a connection to it and liked it. There is nothing like ‘that’ feeling of lonely and thankfully my experience with it was brief, but obviously impressionable. Thanks always 🙂

  3. It actually feels quite “finished” to me, in that it requires no further closure. It’s very much about the atmosphere and the mood, and, as always, you pull it off excellently!

  4. There are some to whom being alone has become “the way” and it now provides it’s own presence and comfort and even joy, if allowed. Satisfying on some levels while allowing community and even intimacy.
    Lonesome is that other critter that we allow to hang around to punish us. Kick it in the ass and out the door.
    You got soul, m’ love.

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