Letters In My Head – Part 2

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Occasionally, I like to write fictitious letters – Sound strange? Well I am sometimes, but I find it fun and entertaining and I hope you will, too. I have posted another one of these previously called “Letters in My Head, Now Available for Viewing”

                                                                                                                                                                 May 1968

Dear Effie,

I hope this letter finds in you in better spirits than you were during our last visit. I suppose as we age we all become a bit cantankerous, but I do hope you will try harder next time. After all, we chose to visit you instead of taking a real vacation.

As I told you at lunch the first day, we explained your pitiful situation to the children, being your age and alone in that big old house, and I have just never been prouder of these fine five boys of ours for being selfless enough to recognize how important it is to do these special things for you instead of doing what we want to do.

I know you will always cherish precious little Scotty’s mud handprints on the foyer wall. Those are the treasures and memories that will remind you of better days, the freedom of youth.  To think I thought you were serious when you got that old ping-pong paddle out and called it your “butt baton.”  You are such a jokester! The boys really thought that was funny, too. Good times, good laughs.

I was looking ahead at the calendar and I believe we could make a short trip of three or four days at Thanksgiving. That should give you more time to straighten the place up a bit. We found the mattress in your bedroom to be a bit stiff.  Oh and Michael would prefer the sofa to the recliner. He’s going to be a teenager soon and well, they are difficult to please sometimes. He thought you’d like the recliner better, too. Since it’s a few months away, you have time to make sure the refrigerator is well stocked. Oh, please remember my husband prefers cornbread dressing and not stuffing to go with the turkey. It’s these little reminders that I love helping you with my dear Aunt Effie and I know you appreciate my attention to details so our visit together is spent on the important things.

I must go for now. Do remember to send the payment for the broken camera. I realize you didn’t mean to forget to remind me not to leave it on the kitchen table for the boys to get a hold of, but I specifically asked you to help me with that. Oh, I almost feel bad about it knowing you’re getting more forgetful at your age. You must be at least 65 now, right? I’ll tell you what – only send $300 and we’ll both feel better about.

Your loving great niece,

 

 

Trudy (and Charlie with your precious great-great nephews Scotty, William, Everett, Jimmy and Michael)

P.S. Perhaps we’ll bring Rufus our wonder dog with us this fall! We’ll try really hard to get him housebroke before then.

 

 

 

20 responses »

  1. This would be a good way to blow off steam. If someone ticked you off, just whip up a faux letter and pretend you’re addressing it to them. Very clever. 🙂

  2. These are pretty good. I’ve heard that some writers do these imaginary letters just to get into their characters’ heads, but I can easily imagine entire stories structured as a series of letters. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head, but I’m sure they’re out there.

    • Maybe I’ll do an anthology of letters after I finish the two projects I’m working on now – oh geez, if only I could quit procrastinating – I despise the editing/re-writing process – ugh!

      • I actually like revising because, for me, it’s like watching an awkward, lumpy thing turn into the thing it ultimately becomes. Learning how to revise my first novel is all kinds of time-consuming, though 😦

      • I actually hired an editor for my short story collection – He’s been great but now I have to buckle down and get the work done where he’s made suggestions – I love your philosophy on the subject and I hope I can embrace that line of thought because I sure need to! 😛

    • Hey it’s all therapy to some degree isn’t it, whether it’s a release of emotion or just makes us giggle. By the way, the name of your blog has me intrigued – about to check it out… 🙂 thanks so much for popping by!

  3. haha…this is very funny and a great way to explore those characters that float around in my head but don’t seem to lead to a ‘real’ story…an exercise like this might help though 🙂

    • Only one way to find out… 🙂 So maybe we should all look forward to seeing one soon on your blog? I joked I should write an anthology of fictitious letters but it would be a real hoot if a lot of writers came together and did this, putting their own quirky spin on them. Thanks for taking the time and for commenting 🙂

  4. Wowza!! Oh my gosh, Sheila, this was really good!! You should make a book out of this somehow. The nerve of that woman, when clearly SHE’S the selfish one!! Very well written – I couldn’t help but imagine the woman sitting down to write that. Good stuff, my friend, good stuff. 🙂

    • High praise from one of my favorite people – thank you!! 🙂 I’ve half thought about doing your suggestion actually. I love quirky characters especially when they don’t realize they’re in the wrong… lol Thanks again Sean…

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