Assmerican – that would be me


If you’ll indulge me…

Please tell me I’m not the only Assmerican – this would be Ass-American for those of you unfamiliar with my newly-coined term.  I know I am an Assmerican because I tend to make an ass of myself anytime I’m in conversation with my lovely counterparts in other lands, be it Canada, Ireland, England, Indonesia, you name it. And, thanks to the internet, blogging and Twitter, I’m able to prove myself an Assmerican over and over again, daily if the opportunity arises.

What is an Assmerican exactly? It’s a person who says something as stupid as this:

Asking my friend from England: “Hey, do you ever get a chance to see Pippa running around town over there? She’d be a great girl for you.”

(Of course I meant it in the nicest possible way because my friend is a nice young guy and I want him to meet a good girl – he couldn’t do better than royalty, could he?  -Says the Assmerican.)

He replies: “Erm, which town is she walking around? You know England is not just made of one place, right?”

To which I responded: “But it’s such tiny little land.”  Or some such nonsense. Note to self: England is bigger than the 1-inch square on the globe in your living room.


I don’t go out of my way to be an Assmerican – It happens naturally, effortlessly – I make it look easy.

And to all those I’ve been an Assmerican to, please accept my apologies – it’s never intentional…but it is likely to happen again.

Tell me I’m not the only Assmerican out there. Have you ever been one, know one, seen one in action? Please share…admitting the problem is the first step to change!



17 responses »

  1. I rather think this post proves you’re not an ass. You’re obviously concerned about how you affect the feelings of other people, and showing a desire to do better when it comes to interacting with them. That’s awesome. The world would be a better place if we could all do a bit more of that 🙂

    And the phenomenon you’re describing isn’t limited to Americans. People from other countries can participate too. I grew up in Texas, so obviously I ride horses and shoot guns and wear cowboy hats and chaps and stuff. But you know…it’s been a while since I was in high school 😉

    • Mike is right; when I was an Au Pair in Paris many years ago, upon hearing I was originally from North Dakota, many of my French peers peppered me with questions about cowboys and Indians and that sort of thing. They assumed it was exactly as the movie Westerns depicted the Dakotas. In the 1800s! But I do think we Americans corner the market in egocentrism and cultural naiveté, that’s for sure. 🙂

      • Well, first of all, wow on the Au Pair in Paris job – sounds cool. It’s kind of neat to find out what other people think/assume about us, though. But we definitely take the cake and by we, I mean, me…definitely not you 🙂

      • I was actually a very underpaid nanny with a not-so-nice family, but it was Paris, and when you’re 18, that’s pretty much all that matters. How I managed to survive on so little money is beyond me (was paid about $120 a month, half of which went to my language class). Better to have done it when I was young. 🙂

  2. hahaha….the fact that u want to think over something that you feel is stupid is in itself a pointer to the fact that you are responsible, clever and level headed!

    keep posting and regards!


  3. Sheila, I’ve met a lot of people around the world, including my fair share of Assmericans and “furners” who think that America is the schlepp Hollywood pumps out and what they see on the news, and I can say with all confidence that you are no Assmerican. Simply by writing this, you’ve exhibited more cultural awareness than most people living in the United States do. You’re definitely more on the Enlightencan side.

  4. Ever see Brits abroad : ). I saw a couple enter a Chinese restraunt in a small town in Spain. The lady was furious that they didn’t serve a full English breakfast and milk didn’t come with the tea ; )

  5. This was a funny post, made me smile 🙂 I agree with some of the other commenters that ass-ish behaviour is not confined to Americans – Brits abroad often make me cringe! But I do know what you mean. I was in a cafe here in Barbados the other day and an American was grumbling about the lack of maple syrup. It really annoyed me – we’re about 3,000 miles from the nearest maple tree here! They’d made beautiful jams with local tropical fruit, but that wasn’t good enough for him. I don’t think your comment was that bad, by the way – England is pretty small compared to the US. But it’s true that meeting Pippa is not very likely (about 1 in 50 million!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s