If you’ll indulge me…
Please tell me I’m not the only Assmerican – this would be Ass-American for those of you unfamiliar with my newly-coined term. I know I am an Assmerican because I tend to make an ass of myself anytime I’m in conversation with my lovely counterparts in other lands, be it Canada, Ireland, England, Indonesia, you name it. And, thanks to the internet, blogging and Twitter, I’m able to prove myself an Assmerican over and over again, daily if the opportunity arises.
What is an Assmerican exactly? It’s a person who says something as stupid as this:
Asking my friend from England: “Hey, do you ever get a chance to see Pippa running around town over there? She’d be a great girl for you.”
(Of course I meant it in the nicest possible way because my friend is a nice young guy and I want him to meet a good girl – he couldn’t do better than royalty, could he? -Says the Assmerican.)
He replies: “Erm, which town is she walking around? You know England is not just made of one place, right?”
To which I responded: “But it’s such tiny little land.” Or some such nonsense. Note to self: England is bigger than the 1-inch square on the globe in your living room.
I don’t go out of my way to be an Assmerican – It happens naturally, effortlessly – I make it look easy.
And to all those I’ve been an Assmerican to, please accept my apologies – it’s never intentional…but it is likely to happen again.
Tell me I’m not the only Assmerican out there. Have you ever been one, know one, seen one in action? Please share…admitting the problem is the first step to change!