Sometimes…I Disgust Myself



As a writer, I truly want to make sure I get my story straight, and that means – research! However, in my quest for correctness, I occasionally find myself chasing my tail, falling into the deep end, making a swift dive into the rabbit’s hole, yes you know the one. You’ve probably done it, too.

Research on ‘death by exsanguination’ leads to some article on ‘strange deaths around the world’ and from there you’re off on some trail about ‘women necrophiliacs.’ A sick twisted curiosity won’t let you stop reading, but then you hit the wall; the one built as a forum, replete with women discussing how it’s possible for women to be necrophiliacs, how it’s physically possible. Let me say now that I could live my whole life without this knowledge. Yet, the synaptic fibers burst into existence, forming the neural pathway that will forever hold this memory, probably into my years of senility so that one day my great-grandchildren will think I’m confessing to some sick past while dribbling soup from my toothless mouth onto my cotton nightshirt.

I just couldn’t stop reading it – disgusting, sick, and depraved. There is so little that shocks these days, but women admitting they could be sexually stimulated by a dead body just floored me. I’m not sure what’s worse, the fact that I kept reading it or that I ended up writing a flash piece about a female necrophiliac. Sometimes…I disgust myself.


10 responses »

  1. Sheila! Oh my gosh, I have done this same thing so many times. Not the disgust part…lol…but the getting off track and not being able to stop myself. It drives me nuts. So glad to find out most everyone is the same!! Great post.

  2. I often wonder what someone would think if he/she saw my Internet history after I’ve researched something for my fiction. Even I’m embarrassed sometimes!

    The Internet has made research so easy, but sometimes, it’s a bit overwhelming. It seems each new piece of knowledge just opens up another cubby, then another, and so on and so on until you realize you have no time left to write! At least you got a flash fiction piece out of the deal!

  3. Love the description of your elderly self :). I went from detailed research on the technical fine points of shooting heroin, to how teenage boys describe their first sexual experience. The first was depressing, especially just how many point by point how to guides exist for easy googling. The other just made me laugh hysterically.

  4. I think most humans are naturally wired to be curious and learn about stuff, even if some of that stuff makes us go, “OMG, that’s absolutely horrible…I must know more…*click*…”

    It’s probably even worse for writers, but at least we get character and story ideas out of the deal.

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