Dearest Cousin Esther,
It is with great regret that I write to inform you of the most recent solemn occasion in Springville. Upon last correspondence, the Widow Benson passed just a week after Mr. Sawley and you will remember this was cousin’s Barclay’s uncle. I’m afraid I have more tragic news. Aunt Frieda’s youngest sister’s housemaid has suffered a stroke and is not expected to live through the night. She might even pass as I write this very letter to inform you of her illness. Needless to say, Bill Wither’s funeral home is standing by for the necessary preparations. They certainly take care of a body and the family doesn’t have to worry over a single detail. Their prices are quite reasonable and I heard with all the extra business he’s been getting lately he might give a discount on the next three bodies. Well, with all the increased morbidity, I have decided to purchase my final resting place at the Springville Cemetery and pay a visit to Bill Wither’s about my casket. If by some chance Aunt Frieda’s youngest sister’s housemaid hangs on a bit longer, and on account of that Mr. Wither’s doesn’t have the markdown, I suppose I will just be content to buy my spot of dirt and wait on the casket.
I must go now and look in on my neighbor. She’s been looking quite gray lately herself. Not to mention, I absolutely must get a cake in the oven and be on standby for all these upcoming morbidities.
Mrs. Anabelle Rogers
(Unfortunately, Mrs. Anabelle Rogers died in the night before she was able to mail this letter. Her children were unaware of the discount at Bill Wither’s funeral home and had her cremated instead.)
<p><a href=”http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1256”>Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>